Happy Belated Birthday

I received a rejected letter from a literary journal a day after I turned 34. If my work were to get published, then this would be one of the loveliest birthday gifts from the publishing world. Frankly speaking, I don’t mind rejection letters. I’ve gotten them so much that I can make collage on the wall. It’s part of growing up as a writer. It helps me (the writers) to grow-up and mature before we are accepted by one of the top-five publishing houses.

Now, the editor commented the lack in its ‘form, structure and plot’. And she’s willing to help me to polish it up, so that I’m ‘always welcome to re-submit’ to the journal again. Fine. I did as she told. It’s approaching a week or so, and I have yet to hear from her.

‘When there’s a will, there’s a way.’

Right. ‘That’ isn’t the only journal that’s available in this world. I can never blocking the door, idly standing there. I have to move on, not that I still have my legs that functioning, but I’m not going to waste anymore time. I’ve already submitted it to another literary mag, and had other alternative online journals in mind, as well.

Somehow, the feminism theory that I’d studied in the Jurisprudence class has kept me going ’til this day.

Poem: Unrequited

This night I search for the folder in yellow,
where I kept all your photographs in silence.
In this state, I’ve lost my balance and human touch,
Blankness is the only word that sends your face traveling.

I sit with my typewriter along the movable bridge,
At one of the sections, reminding me of her silhouette,
The bridge’s name and hers – I capitalized them in mind;
F-O-R-E-V-E-R always beyond my reach.

Because of you I have to begin with a fresh chapter,
Whether or not I will hear from you
again; whether I have a chance to see you
The best would probably to bury this love within.

One day, you’ll find a letter unopened; unsealed
One day, you may or may not remember me
One day out of nowhere, your arms find its way to me
telling me that you still want me

and that I will reply by bringing you closer,
kissing you and never to have let you go;
Until then your absence only makes this heart
grows evermore fonder.

Micropoetry #58

This inspiration comes
when I needed you most,
Waste no more time
to the one I should learn
to love right now. Watching you

sipping between coffee,
Lips got burnt due to
your face plastered on the screen,
I should burn your Apple, instead —
I’m falling for you

A Note for My Dearest Gems

Dear Gems,

It has been a week I didn’t blog. However, it wasn’t on purpose that I was on a ‘vacation’. This morning I log onto the internet to check on emails and read what’s been trending. And when they say expect the unexpected is usually something good, but I received another rejection letter on my novel submission from one of the US agents.

My actual vacation of being away from the net was due to my maniac stress/depression disorder. I had mild Bipolar Disorder, too. So for the past one week without internet and any white noises, only prayers, rest, relaxing and meditation. I’m doing quite well now. Well, is anybody still reading this? Or had rejected me like others did? I’m practically used to it. Frankly, who can receive rejections over and over again?

So this is a short note to inform that I will be back next week, while at the meantime I have been writing lots of poems for redemption.

‘Til then signing off with much love…

Repetition

In fact, I don’t mind listening to one favourite song entire day. I’m not insane. It’s just a tune that keeps my mood going. I’ve blogged previously about depression. Truth to be told, music heals all souls. Whether you’re a crack-pot or not.

I’m a Malaysian. But still a Chinese by heart. I celebrate Christmas, Chinese Lunar New Year…basically every festivals except those had to do with religious celebration like Hungry Ghost festival and any Hindu and Muslim celebrations. But wait, I still go for my Muslim and Hindu friends’ open house during Hari Raya and Deepavali.

I want to draw two points here.

I’m still very much an old-soul that’s into music of the 80’s and 90’s. Those are the most memorable moment of my life. Similarly, my current playlist (the one in my WMP) are songs by the Chinese legendary Jacky Cheung, Anita Mui, Leslie Cheung, Andy Lau, Gigi Lai, Vivian Chou, Grasshoppers and BEYOND! I cap that because I couldn’t have known how a Canto-Rock would sound like if it weren’t them.

This morning, I was listening to ‘Heart Attack’ by Demi Lovato, ‘Stronger’ by Kelly Clarkson ‘Impossible’ by Shontelle, ‘How Do I Deal’ by Jennifer Love Hewitt and ‘Smoke’ by Natalie Imbruglia. And now it’s Chinese songs all the way.

Another point that I want to make is, I’m proud to call myself a Malaysian and YES, I don’t look so-Chinese by appearance. At times, I’ve been mistaken as an Indonesian, Thai or Filipino. It doesn’t matter. When I was in Vancouver, a man ran to me and claim I must be from Singapore. So what made him thought that? My fluency in English, as he said. Well, there’re Malaysians who are fluent, or close to speaking this impeccable universal language. Perhaps, I’m the first one you’ve met.

My most pleasure, so to speak.

And yes, I love British English. I find it very sexy. Before any of you throwing tomatoes at my direction, I do love North American way of speaking too. Now, I need some help from the Southern effect, please.